THE DIVORCEE'S DICTIONARY

There follow extracts from that well thumbed lexicon, "The Embittered Divorcee's Dictionary of Life,":

Man man (noun) a foolish knave
Woman wuman (noun) a frivolous maiden
Love luv (noun) an illusion
Marriage marrij (noun) reality
Separation separayshun (noun) purgatory
Divorce devorss (noun) hell
Marry marree (verb) wed
Divorce devorss (verb) future tense of marry
Financial-Settlement fynanshall setulment (noun) robbery
Pre-nup pree nup(noun) insurance
Maintenance maintenanss (noun) lifeline, if the recipient; millstone, if the payer
Lump sum lump sum (noun) blood money
Pension share penshun share(noun) penury in retirement