There was what I understand to have been a hoax circulating on the Internet over the course of the last week, claiming that the results of a study from the California Parenting Institute show that every parenting style causes children to grow up into adults with problems, becoming “profoundly flawed and joyless human beings.” Regardless of whether or not the parents are over protective or permissive, their children suffer feelings of bitterness and isolation throughout adulthood. Sham it may have been but perhaps it caught so many people out because there could almost be a resonance of truth about it.

It was Philip Larkin, who in his poem “This Be the Verse,” claimed:
“They f… you up your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.”

Certainly Lord Justice Wall thought so too when he quoted Larkin in a judgment which he gave back in 2009, adding for good measure: “This mother and father are no different from many separated parents who make the damage to their children caused by their separation much worse by continuing their battles against each other in legal proceedings”


I agree with Lord Justice Wall 100% when he said that mom and dad cause even more damage to their children because of the ongoing battles between them.

Unfortunately, most children whose parents cannot act civilly toward each other, grow up to become young adults who have emotional, developmental issues - it's a shame, it's not the childrens' fault, but once the children grow into adults, only they make the decision to seek therapy in order repair the damage inflicted on them during their childhoods.
Online Divorce said…
The parenting style you will implement will surely create some effects on how your child will turn out to be as an individual.
Lisa thomson said…
We can only do the best to our ability in raising our children. I agree that frivolous litigation is damaging even if you do not discuss it with the children it is an undercurrent. It interferes with any sense of unity between the children and divorced parents. With ongoing legal battles, the healing cannot begin so all of life's events become uncomfortable for the children and rarely would they see their parents in the same room together. It's kind of sad for them but it is true that they make up their minds as young adults. They evaluate themselves, the situation for what it is.
I think children are very perceptive and quick to take advantage of and emulate various situations.

Positive, caring separated parents produce children that see the positives. They also figure out how to reap rewards particular to that situation.

In other words, good and bad parenting are concepts that must be followed even during a separation.

Popular Posts