A FIRST AID KIT FOR BREAK-UPS

Whilst shopping with Little Girl yesterday (I carry the bags and provide the money, whilst she buys), I came across a pile of playing card size boxes in one store claiming to be “Break-Up Survival Kits.” Intrigued, I picked one up to examine the list of contents. As well as what must have been a very small print survival manual full of useful hints, they contained:

1. Stickers to deface photos of the ex (clearly total destruction doesn’t work anymore?)
2. A poster on which to write the 10 worst things about the ex ( a blank sheet of paper just won’t suffice)
3. A mirror (no explanation as to why, and presumably just on the off chance you might not have one in your home after dividing the house contents).
4. A sticker to place on your telephone to warn you not to call the ex (I assume for those people whose memories are failing and believe they are still a couple)

Needless to say they were on a display marked “reduced” and I suspect that the failure of the store to shift those boxes at their full price may have had more to do with their contents, than a downturn in the number of couples separating.

It did make me wonder though whether there is an actual market for such a kit and if so what it should contain? Handkerchief in case it’s a really bad experience; chocolate to make you feel better; dating agency details for when you are ready to seek out someone new, perhaps. Has anyone any other ideas – together we could be onto a winning patent?