UXOR

Today, I asked Outdoor Man if he’d named his boat Uxor because he intended to spend more time with it than me.
“Of course not,” he protested and then tried to wriggle out of the situation by claiming that I should be flattered because essentially he’d called her after me.
“Why’s that,” I asked, “if it isn’t about all the time you’re planning to be with her?”

His explanation went as follows: “I can handle her only by knowing the ropes; she needs a mate and a strong arm to comfort and guide her; when she rolls she creaks just like you; she has a broad reach.” Then, just when I thought I had heard enough, “She needs paint to keep her looking pretty,” he added.

Outdoor Man is not a lawyer but he now knows that verbal abuse can give rise to grounds for divorce on the facts of unreasonable behaviour!