AN ASSAULT

Having discovered early in life that I suffer from disco leg, I don’t rock-climb (nor indeed dance for that matter) preferring to leave the ropes, shackles and vertical ascents to Outdoor and Apprentice Men, joined on the occasional foray by Little Girl. I do however regularly skim books and magazines on the subject when the others leave them within reach. Whilst away in the Lake District recently I, therefore, found myself reading about climbing routes on Pavey Ark. It became apparent that as new routes are discovered they are given more and more flamboyant names, but one I really have to take issue with, Extreme 4 or not, is Assault and Matrimony. Whatever could have been going through the minds of those original climbers? Assault is a criminal offence and coupled with matrimony is domestic violence as well. Maybe they could think about calling the next one Assault Me Divorce You.