Tuesday, 10 July 2012


I see Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have issued a joint press release confirming that they have reached an agreement to settle their divorce and are working together as parents to agree arrangements for their 6 year old daughter. Hopefully this signifies a civilised and dignified end to what has, of course, been a very high profile marriage. A marriage where the publicity surrounding it owed much to the films each party has been involved in, as reflected in the following potted history:

They began as “The Romantics,” vowed “Endless Love” and then Katie had a “First Daughter.”

Sadly, however, Tom’s third attempt at marriage proved to be “Mission Impossible,” when we’re told Katie came to view Tom’s commitment to scientology as “Disturbing Behaviour” and decided she had to “Abandon” their home in California and “Go” “Far and Away” to New York.

It seems Tom must have had his “Eyes Wide Shut” because he was apparently unaware that he was “Losin’ It” and that his relationship was like “Shattered Glass.” “Legend” has it that “Top Gun” became a “Rain Man” overnight and “Days of Thunder” “Hitting it Hard” followed.

Fortunately we have been spared “The Ice Storm” or a “War of the Worlds.” Agreement has been reached, potentially for "Mad Money." Hopefully Katie will now agree that Tom can see their daughter “Without Limits” and avoid the need for a “Minority Report” or indeed any other investigation into their suitability as parents. If so, Tom will at least be able to maintain a relationship with his daughter under a “Vanilla Sky” rather than seeing it fade into “Oblivion”

All of which only leaves one niggling issue: where did “Batman Begins” fit in?


Divorce Forms said...

Wow! I love it! Very creative :) and yes, hopefully they have been spared the 'War Of The Worlds'.

Kathryn said...

Fun blog! I broke into a huge smile while reading your article.

This is a different way of tackling the famous TomKat divorce because while others keep on writing how much Katie could gain from the divorce or what properties/real estate the couple has accumulated over their five-year marriage, yours is more fun. Nice touch!

Seriously though, it was good that for now, there is no trouble brewing between the couple regarding child custody or child support. Suri should certainly be their number one priority, something that other celeb parents, who go on to get a divorce, seem to forget.

Divorce Lawyers Mississauga said...

I for one say about damn time. She stuck it out way longer than I would have imagined. I wish her all the best fighting off the nutjobs during the custody battle.

Darcy Nimmons said...

Ahahaha, clever! But yes, it’s a shame that something that, at the very least seemed, to have been going so strong could end so abruptly. Is Tom Cruise the Ross Geller of the entertainment world? Or the new Elizabeth Taylor? Hopefully not. No one wants to go through multiple divorces. Here’s hoping they all make it through unscathed, especially little Suri.