Thursday, 20 May 2010

GRUMPY OLD WOMEN


I heard Judith Holder (she of Grumpy Old Women fame) speak today at a Spring Lunch in aid of the County Durham Community Foundation. It was an hilarious and incisive insight into the weird and wonderful world of the older and not so older woman.

According to Judith they spend hours whingeing about the ironing and only 4 minutes doing it. They crave attention and seek it by sticking out from the crowd ; walking a rabbit on a leash for example. Their idea of a pin up idol is George Clooney but doing DIY or (can you imagine?) Jeremy Paxman complete in knitted jumper with guitar. They now think it acceptable to listen to Country and Western music and, of course, are entitled to complain (not moan) about everything. "Shoddy" and "poor workmanship" are their catch phrases. Oh and they get to wear big knickers and obsess about tidy sock drawers and piles of neatly pressed shirts.

Is it any wonder that the last decade has seen a rise in divorces amongst the over 50’s? Couple a grumpy woman with a grumpy old man and you have to admit it has the characteristics of a lethal combination.

2 comments:

GRAMZOF3 said...

DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS THE PLACE, BUT I NEED TO VENT....ALOT!
FIRST, I'LL MENTION THE BACKGROUND INFO: I WAS 18 YRS AND 4 DAY OLD WHEN I MARRIED. HE WAS 20 1/2 YRS. WE HAD 3 KIDS BY THE TIME I WAS 24. (MOSTLY, MY CHOICE) WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED ALMOST 31 YRS NOW. BEEN SEPARATED OFF/ON FOR ABOUT 20 YRS NOW.
I LIVE IN A HOUSE WE OWN IN FLORIDA.(WITH MY DAUGHTER & GRANDAUGHTER) HE LIVES WITH FAMILY IN NY.
MY NY DAUGHTER RECENTLY NEEDED MY HELP DUE TO A FAMILY EMERGENCY. SHE & MY HUSBAND SPLIT THE COST OF MY AIRLINE TICKET. DUE TO COMPLICATIONS, I NEEDED TO STAY LONGER. MY DAUGHTER PAID THE DIFFERENCE.
LET ME REPEAT, I AM HERE TO HELP HERE AND HER FAMILY DUE TO AN EMERGENCY.
MY HUSBAND GOT PISSY WITH ME BECAUSE WE GOT BACK LATE FROM THE HOSPITAL VISITING HER HUSBAND AFTER SURGERY. I GOT ANGRY BECAUSE HE REFUSED TO PUT CLOTHES ON HIS NAKED LADY SCREENSAVER WHILE I VISIT. I ALSO GOT A LITTLE ANNOYED WITH HIM WHEN HE GRABBED MY BREASTS IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER AND HER 3 GIRLS.(AGES 7,6,& 22 MONTHS)
I DID ASK HIM THAT IF I GAVE HIM $2 CASH, COULD I USE HIS CREDIT CARD TO BUY THE FLYING MONKEY. HE TOLD ME NO. HE WANTS TO PLAY "LET'S MAKE A DEAL",IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I'M SO OVER THAT GAME. I LEFT THE NEXT MORNING TO STAY WITH MY DAUGHTER AND HER KIDS.
I HAVE COME TO REALIZE 2 THINGS: MOST MEN ARE NOTHING MORE THAN 2 YEAR OLDS WHO THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM.
THE OTHER IS THAT MOST WIVES ARE HOOKERS. WE PERFORM SEXUAL ACTS FOR GOODS (HOMES/CARS/VACATIONS/ETC) I KNOW I AM. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I FEEL LIKE.
SO, SINCE I REFUSED HIS "DEAL", HE HAS DECIDED TO STOP PAYING THE MORTGAGE ON THE HOUSE ME,HIS DAUGHTER AND GRANDAUGHTER LIVE IN, THE CAR PAYMENT FOR THE CAR THAT I USE TO GET HIS GRANDAUGHTER TO SCHOOL(SHE DOESN'T GET A BUS), AND THE CELL PHONES FOR MY DAUGHTER AND I, THAT I PAID HIM FOR THE YEAR WITH OUR TAX REFUND MONEY. SINCE HE NEVER ADDED ME ON THE ACCOUNT, THE PHONES ARE ALREADY TURNED OFF.
HE CLAIMS THAT HE HASN'T CHANGED SINCE I'VE KNOWN HIM AND THAT I SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW. I HAVE CHANGED. I AM NOT AN 18 YEAR OLD GIRL ANYMORE. I AM A 45+ GRANDMOTHER.
SO, WITH ALL THAT, MY QUESTION IS: HAVE I WAITED LONG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO GROW UP? IS 31 YEARS A RESONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME TO HOPE FOR CHANGE?
PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU THINK I'M BEING UNREASONABLE.

Judith said...

Grumpy old women would ask: "Do leopards change their spots?"