Tuesday, 14 December 2010

DO I, DON'T I?



So it’s your first Christmas apart and you’ve decided to send your ex a card. The dilemma that now faces you, is what do you write inside and how do you sign off? “Best wishes,” sounds a little too distant; “regards,” is far too formal; “love from,” is just plainly inappropriate. Then if you can work out the correct sentiment do you put “xxx” after your name or not? Yes, you do write it on Aunt Ethel’s card but she is elderly and she is not your estranged spouse. Of course you could just write your name, after all the card itself will carry a printed message in any event; but a name by itself looks exactly that and you don’t want the ex thinking of you as all alone, one short name on a piece of paper.

Frankly the time spent agonising over “Do you, don’t you and if you do, how?” is not worth it. Far, far easier to pick up the phone and wish them a Merry Christmas verbally. If you are unable to communicate directly in that way then don’t send a card; it’s meaning is going to be misinterpreted and you may regret it later.

6 comments:

Jamie said...

Oh my gosh, this is so timely as I was wondering if I should send a card this year! This will be my second Christmas divorced and my first without my kids .. I thought maybe a card would be appropriate signed "Your Ex-Wife" - kidding!! I decided to just text him Merry Christmas on Christmas morning.

Many Thanks!
Divorced ... Merry Christmas

Family Law said...

Family is always important, this is why we should seek for legal advice if there is something that bothers us. It is always better to ask experts before we act upon something.

Anonymous said...

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Ed the California Divorce Attorney said...

I never thought of card-sending this way, but now that I've read your post, I must say that you are completely right! True, the way you sign your card can be interpreted by your ex-spouse in so many ways.

I enjoyed this post so much that I bookmarked it on StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg, Reddit and Google bookmarks. Also, California child support payment laws have been revised, and I'd love to know what you think about my article on child support. If you have the time, I hope you can read my "California Child Support Payments" article by visiting this link: http://californiadivorceforms.org/california-child-support-payments/.

Thank you, Judith, and happy new year as well!

Tulsa Divorce Attorneys said...

I agree with you Judith, it's not worth agonizing over.

Oklahoma City Divorce Attorneys said...

No sense fretting over it.