Friday, 19 June 2009

THE DIVORCEE'S DICTIONARY


There follow extracts from that well thumbed lexicon, "The Embittered Divorcee's Dictionary of Life,":


Man man (noun) a foolish knave
Woman
wuman (noun) a frivolous maiden
Love
luv (noun) an illusion
Marriage
marrij (noun) reality
Separation
separayshun (noun) purgatory
Divorce
devorss (noun) hell
Marry
marree (verb) wed
Divorce
devorss (verb) future tense of marry
Financial-Settlement
fynanshall setulment (noun) robbery
Pre-nup
pree nup(noun) insurance
Maintenance
maintenanss (noun) lifeline, if the recipient; millstone, if the payer
Lump sum
lump sum (noun) blood money
Pension share
penshun share(noun) penury in retirement

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