When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him; or
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months; I don’t like to interrupt her.
Once upon a time however, I interviewed my very own Christmas cracker. Although it’s many years ago now, I can still remember his Christian name; it was Rudolph. He was large with ginger hair and a ruddy expression. It was Christmas Eve and he wore a garland of tinsel around his neck and a paper crown on his head. He described to me how he and his wife had both thought they were happy for twenty years but had then met and married, following which he realised that he had never known before what true happiness was, although by then it was too late. Unfortunately his wife never learned the true secret of a perfect marriage, namely to forgive her husband whenever she was wrong, and matters had finally come to a head the day before when they had argued over the weather. She insisted that it was snowing but he had told her it was only raining. The bickering was incessant and eventually he asked her to go outside with him so that they could establish who was correct. She agreed, and, as he had maintained all along, it was raining. “How did you know that?” she asked.
“Rudolph the Red knows rain dear,” he replied.
I have promised my family a break from blogging over the Christmas holiday but shall be back here in the New Year.